Updated: Jan 24
Many of us experience different types of traumas, most common one is sexual trauma which is the least people speak on at home growing up.
As a child we learn to develop our likes and desires we use as adults. The type of friends we want, the type of boy-girlfriend/Husband/partner we want, the job that calls our attentions, the family members we are closes to, the books we read, the categorization of the things we choose to listen or watch on TV. The sexual preferences we develop.
An abused child, a child that had lack of love and attention or affection is a child that thinks and believes different from the one who was given TIME, PATIENCE and EFFORT. To understand and listen takes these three qualities and they are all FREE. But yet we believe money is the most important to raise a child. To believe your child when they speak their truth is priceless. Not GASLIGHTING their feelings and choices is priceless. I am not saying being an amazing parent won't give you the chance of raising an ungrateful child I am simply saying when your child seems to want to speak to you LISTEN.
When someone was abused as a child, most parents turn a blind side and even sometimes accuse the victim to be the "provoker" this is very sickening to me. No one deserves to be raped, unless that's a personal choice you make as an adult to ask someone to rape you, I have heard of these type of things while growing up. If you're attracted to these kinds of sexual desires as an adult which I FEEL COMES FROM YOUR CHILDHOOD TRAUMAS, so be it.. not judging anyone. I do feel is a desire that comes from experiences.
The things others do to us teach us healing through hurt when we choose to grow, but in all reality all of our traumas make a difference in our lives. Still!!!, YOU DO NOT DESERVE TO BE TREATED LIKE AN OBJECT. The gut feeling you get is right, the intuition you felt is right. You deserve better, you deserve the life you believe you will never have. You deserve someone who loves you and respects your desires and ways of being. Whether is it being touched a certain way or NOT TOUCHED at all. Your fears are yours, till you find ways to cope with them is okay to take your time to heal. YOU ARE NOT WHAT PEOPLE HAVE DONE TO YOU. YOU ARE NOT YOUR MISTAKES, as long as you learn and try not to make the same mistakes over and over, there's nothing wrong with taking longer than others to heal.
Point is, do not let your experiences or the things others do to you change your good heart. DO NOT LET THE BEHAVIOR OF OTHERS AFFECT YOU AND YOUR CHOICES in life. Learn from it and try to understand that things happen FOR YOU NOT TO YOU. Learn to have boundaries and respect yourself to the point other have no choice but to respect you, minimum ACCEPT your boundaries. Change your life around and instead of being tired of being you flip that bitch around and understand how AMAZING you are!.
KEEP YOUR HEAD UP,
I send you so much Love & Healing.