Updated: Aug 10
Growing up I never understood why people do one another wrong, still today's day the adult that I grew up to be feels the same way. I have always felt a need to protect and love those around me, especially the closest people to me. I love to give love and respect, no matter the age, older or younger than me. Being in my inner circle means you will be spoiled, loved and taken care of.
So being this giver and protector that I am to get the results of receiving envy, hate and jealousy in return hit me pretty hard back in 2020. Today I am more understanding, of why people do these types of treatments. Especially to kind loving people who have their backs and allow them to be themselves no matter what.
The majority of the time the person mistreating others lacks self-love and self-respect.
The moment you see that special someone mistreating their own child or parent even best friend is the moment you should understand to proceed with caution. Understand that if they can mistreat someone, they birthed, "love" or call Bestie, WHO TF are you?
Sometimes the more you support someone who does not love or respect, minimum care for you leads them to manipulate and gaslight you, easier and easier as time goes by. Due to your tolerance of their abuse, these people learn to take advantage of you and your amazing way of being and in the end only you are to blame, for a taker will always be a taker and the more you give so willingly the more they will take continuously.
More than likely, you have been their scapegoat the whole time and by allowing them to abuse us, we become their punching bag without realizing that, enabling their behavior and forgiving so easily is an encouragement for them to continue to manipulate and abuse us without any repercussion.
Till you learn, most of the time many of us learn the hard as I did back in 2020, that we MUST find ways to create boundaries for ourselves, this will mainly come as you love and respect yourself more than you love and respect them!
I know is very upsetting and a true let down that most of the time leads us to depression. Because you love and care for this person or people so much and you only want them to see how much you love them, so by allowing all the fuckery you think eventually they will get it BUT NO they WONT. But by you holding them down and covering up they Wack ass behavior this only allows them to disrespect you over and over.
Please understand that this is also a form of "lack of self-love" from your part.
Once you decide to walk away you will see their true colors and how they are so eager to tell all your secrets and business without giving 2 Fs about hurting you. Meanwhile you are out there protecting theirs! and all they are!
Please protect yourself, love yourself in ways you stop allowing someone you love to continuously abuse you just because you love them.
You allow them to get away with murder and have their back no matter how bad they treat you, you have the best intentions for them meanwhile all this only allows them to believe their poor treatments towards you are ok, instead of them seeing the bigger picture and how blessed they are to have you in their lives.
None of their feelings, actions, reactions or ways of being has anything to do with YOU! again this is a self accountably issue they possess.
So, let's say you talk to them about how they hurt you by being cruel to you, but their first instinct is to get mad and become an aggressive victim. Understand that this is a sign for you to walk away.
In addition, understand that the more you know about them and their ways the more that you have withheld the more they will hate you because they believe you will tell on them, they don't get you were pure to them. they think everyone else is like them. So, even if you spent a whole lifetime showing them you were a ride or die for them, they choose to convince themselves other wise and TBH that has nothing to do with you!
So anytime you choose to open up and say something if their response is victimization, please find a way to distance yourself from this person or people no matter who they are, it can be family!
By protecting yourself you might realize that all along you have been loving them while they hated you.
After you walk away, publicly, you have become their enemy just by asking them to see how poor they treat you, now they want to make sure you feel bad for speaking up.
Your job has always been to allow them to mess up for so many years, how dare you defend yourselves now?
How dare you get tired of their abuse? how is it an abuse anyways? they are you parent! family member, your best friend! you must toughen up and allow the abuse!
NO TF NOT!
The fact that you allowed them to hurt you over and over without leaving nor making them feel bad for the way you were treated all those years is enough of an answer for me!
Allow them to make memory by distancing yourself as much as you can, I am 100 percent sure they will remember all the times they did you or anyone else wrong.
Loving people has allowed me to understand my boundaries, I no longer excuse people for mistreating me.
And this is why I wanted to talk to you about this today!
Understand that it is not your responsibility nor fault that ANYONE chooses to be a piece of poop to you especially if you are giving them your all!
Learn when to walk away, understand your value as a human and know that the sooner you let go the better it is for you all. Let them talk, they do it anyways even when you are doing your best! it will never be enough for some of them, and then the other some when they do wake up and smell the coffee hopefully is not too late.
The day it will stop, is the day you choose to put a STOP to their Bullshit!
Love & Healing to you,