Updated: Jan 24
Have you noticed patterns in the relationships you have had till present day?, This is an over all question. Meaning all of them!. The relationship you have with your parents, the relationship you have had with partners, the relationship you have with friends and colleagues?. Is there a pattern into the way they treat you?. If so, you will get this blog so keep reading.
Lets talk about it,
First I notice the type of relationship you have with your parents is the type of relationship you grow up to surround yourself with as you grow you look for similar traits in others you have "ships" with good or bad.
the lack of attention we miss at home from our parents or loved ones, I include "loved ones" since we can develop these type of feelings from siblings and other care givers as well can lead us to look for their lack of love and attention outside of home. (I felt other people would see my WORTH), lack of support as a child whether is was mental, emotional or physical can open the door for one to desire "hard to get" type of romantic relationships. Crazy thing is that so many of us call this lack of love "REAL love", Allowing that void to take over us from such young age guides us to allow others to do as they please with us. Shamefully this is a way to show them "real" love back, It's kind of like when a boy at school hits you because "he likes you" but don't know how to say it so he treats you MEAN instead? and everyone is so awww about it, Yeah, that kind of feeling or desire. this illusion can be so toxic and damaging to oneself that you wont notice how bad it is till it destroys your inner being (at some point hopefully you wake up). Some people never learn to love themselves or more than they love others, some even take their lives away based of the fact that someone did not love them back. These types of patterns can become so deep as a part of your everyday life that the friends you find also do things to you like constantly leaving you flat, or only looking for you when no one else is around or when they need something.
Know it is never too late to start loving yourself, once you reach this level of truth with the ppl in your life you can either speak up, and explain what's bothering you or you can learn to let go. Allowing others to use and abuse you willingly will not teach them how to love or respect you.
We are trained to think that adulthood is just about being married and having kids, or the perfect career/job, but Don't teach the importance of time patience and effort into maintaining a marriage and raising children or keeping that job. Which brings the cycle I speak on this blog specifically, We spend so much time looking for ourselves in other people, we forget to be ourselves.
Things you can do if you're going through these similar issues is:
Learn to be ok in solitude, doing internal work (Shadow work), opening your eyes to the truth is your "bestie". Be as honest as you can with yourself, when trying to figure your life out, do not settle for less. Do not allow others to tell you how to live your life or what's good for you (is ok to receive advice it is not ok to live YOUR life based off someone else's choices). Use your boundaries, respect and love yourself, this does not mean go and be all cold and dry and careless towards others NO this means knowing WHO to give you all to. knowing when to walk away from those who mean you no good. Giving people who harm you purposely, YOUR absence. Learn to be true to yourself about what you like and no matter how weird others may have made you feel it is choose YOU. As you're not harming anyone please BE YOU. BE FREE, You are here for a reason go find out what's your purpose by loving YOURSELF. LOVE will always find you when you LOVE YOURSELF, Break the patterns.
Let go and let God guide you.
Love & Healing to you.